Tis' the Season, Ya'll.

"Deck the halls with bows of holly, fa-la-la-la-laaaa-la-la-la-la. Tis' the season to be jolly, fa-la-la-la-laaaaa-la-la-la-la."

Jesus, another Christmas season, another $400 bucks down the drain. I used to like Christmas...then I grew up. I try though, believe me. You get a couple weeks off, you get to put on a coat, scarf and hat, you get to drink hot cocoa with your family--or more realistically in my case, binge drink with with your high school buddies and act like a wild monkey let loose from its cage like you did when you first discovered booze--and just relax for a minute.

Obviously, the biggest nightmare associated with the holidays is, first of all, figuring out what the hell to get everyone, and secondly, treading headlong into the torrential waters of whatever hellish corporate establishment you choose to get that gift along with the other 30,000 morons that hate being there just as much as you do. Well I have a solution of sorts. How about throwing the now far too cliche middle finger to those corporate number crunchers and supporting some artists with some serious talent and fresh ideas. Stay with me here.

Forget the easy route where getting a gift is like "yay...iTunes gift card." Or, "yay...Old Navy scarf and matching sweater." F*ck that! You can get incredibly unique gifts for the same amount you'd spend at Walmart or Target or (enter any strip mall hellhole here). And it's easier anyway: place your order, pay, and BOOM!, it's at your door in three days. Ahhh the wonders of the world wide web...wow, man.

"OK Maggotron, if you're so smart, show me...show me where I can get a cool gift for under 40 bucks!"





You ask, you shall receive, Maggotron loves you (I'm allowed to speak in third person as Maggotron, so gimmie a break man, shit). For example, check out this stuff by one of the best artists out there right now, Jeff Claassen . Check this cool little piece for only $15 bucks. I have been to one of Claassen's shows here in San Diego and have seen these pieces first hand, and TRUST me, they are dope. Painted on thick blocks of pine and finished with a thick clear resin finish that makes for a nice, glossy shine. If his pieces don't catch your friend's eye in an instant, then you need new, more interesting friends. If you're a fan of Phil Frost or Doze Green, you'll want to pick one of his pieces up quick. Go meet Jeff in his store in San Luis Obispo if you can, he's a real friendly dude and will chat you up about Animal Collective like no other.







Next is real cool stuff by Shana Logic, which I accidentally stumbled upon when I did a Google Images search for "robot paintings", which should give you a clear indication of how cool the stuff on her site is. Her website is a collective of independent artists that sell their stuff there, as her site has garnered a huge amount of daily traffic, making for a wider exposure then they could gain on their own. Tons and tons of incredibly unique pieces ranging from dope prints hand signed and numbered by artists like Elizabeth Henry, to hats and scarves like this one, to wallets and other accessories, like my personal favorite (hint, hint, wink), this sick Koi Fish wallet by Sapphire Squares. Tons of really cool stuff that if I opened up I would be like, "wow, now that is indeed a cool gift. Christmas, what a wonderful holiday!"


Finally, living in Sacramento isn't the most interesting adventure one can embark upon, I've tried it first hand, and it's pretty limited. But I will say this, there are some of the most progressive and incredible artists making shit outta there as anywhere west or east of the mighty Mississippi. It could be the boredom, it could be the scorching hot summers and freeze your ass off winters that drive them to madness, I don't know, but there is something up there that inspires. One artist in particular has by far the most ingeniously warped perspective on ceramics, or anything for that matter, that I have come across in a while. There's no one out there doing anything close to what Chris Eftratis is doing right now. His pieces inhabit a strange world of dementia far weirder and more unpredictable than a random street musician who you take a second glance at, wishing you could hear his story told from an objective third party: the real, unbiased truth. To get an idea, take a look at my personal favorite, "The Penguin Head" series. It's ridiculous the amount of creativity coming from Chris. I like to think he and David Lynch meet up on the Fourth Wednesday of every other month and hang out in some weird park where they share an egg salad sandwich and discuss astrophysics. Though not listed on his site, he has tons of small, equally weird, ceramic creations for under 40 bucks. Just e-mail him and inquire. He's a real gentleman and will kindly answer your inquiries. He also holds private classes that you can look into on his site, which would be like a film student getting a lesson in cinematography from Kubrick. Four sessions for 185 bucks? Good Value.

If these items are not exactly the route you want to forge, and want to stay a bit more conservative (wimp), get someone (me) the gift of genius in the form of DVD. More specifically in the form of a DVD entitled "Arrested Development" seasons 1,2, and 3. Best damned TV show created since BBC's "The Office", which someone (me again) probably also wouldn't mind having also. Get it here (for me, please).

To wrap this all up in a nice box with pretty wrapping paper and a lovely red bow, just keep in mind that there are other avenues to explore when it comes to gift giving then the traditional, drab gift card/other boring store bought item while still keeping it at a reasonable price. Plus, you get to help out an individual with lofty dreams make a living doing what they love. And if you do decide to go forward and bless your love one(s) with one of these gifts, and it turns out they don't share your vision, send them over to Maggotron 8000 for a holiday season beat down, cause Maggotron adheres to a strict "no returns" policy that includes a serious judo chop to the solar plexus.

Happy Holidays Lovelies!