Hi, my name is Maggotron 8000. Alright, that's not my birth name, but those who know me know me, and those who don't, well, consider yourself blessed because I will waste your time like you can't even begin to fathom. But you will love it, trust me. You can ask Morgan Freeman if you don't believe me. And if you don't believe him, then you can just ask Lou Gossett Jr. Don't even try to act like you don't know who Lou Gossett Jr is! And if you really don't, you should be ashamed. Go here and get your motherfuckin' learn on. Wait, why are you reading on? I'm serious, take a break from this shit for a moment and literally hit the link and learn about one of the great thespians of our time. And if you don't know about http://www.imdb.com/, or the bible as I like to call it, then you should be subject to Chinese water torture or a game of Russian roulette. And no, I don't work for them or something, stop being a smartass. Whatever.
Anyway, I just wanted to take this moment and let everyone know that this is officially the blog of me and the things that I think are important, which you may or may not agree with, but just be warned, I don't take kindly to criticism and I will destroy your ass with my Han Solo phaser gun and do you just like he did Greedo in that nasty ass dive bar. Only I don't have a phaser gun, don't need one, I just have fists and feet that move at the speed of light and I'll front kick your ass with no delay.
Within the contents of this snoop bloggy blog, I aim to educate, enlighten, prophetize, baptize, and deliver all things to you that need to be known, which could at random include things like: film, music, coffee shops, weirdos, drunks, lunatics, writers, stereotypes, artists, cities, dwellings, neighborhoods, architecture, skateboarding, director's cuts, quail eggs, Munchausen syndrome, booze, the fairer sex, etc.
You get the picture. It will be fun. Some will be better than others, but bear with me and feel free to roundhouse kick me if you catch me in San Francisco here, San Diego here, Los Angeles here, Sacramento here, Salem (nothing cool in Salem, sorry), or Seattle here if I insult thee, because I will insult, and that's only because everyone's insulted by something always, including myself. Shit, just the other day the lady at Starbucks asked me if I wanted room for cream when I ordered a tall coffee. I said, "ohhhhh, uh-huh, 'room for cream', I see. Do I look like the type of guy that needs room for cream? So basically you're calling me a pansy, right? Is that it? Well f*ck you!" Then I just side kicked the front door open and stormed out. Can you believe that lady? I know, right!
See, the funny thing about this is, the guy or gal reading this who really DOES ask for room for cream just got insulted by my little farce. you see how this works? it's a fucking vicious cycle, man. Room for cream....jerks.
So that's the deal. Mad information and mad stream of consciousness prose. And if you don't like it then, well, that's just bogus. But if you do like it, and I truly hope you do, you need to shout it from atop a snowy mountain, so all the villagers hillside and beyond can get the good word. And if you've got some interesting thoughts, like about how handsome I am, or how the words flow from my keyboard like a fresh mountain stream, or how just generally awesome I am, I want to hear it. And I will reference you for sure if it's called for, so if you don't want your real name on blast, I'd suggest you choose an ample pseudonym.
In essence, I love you all equally and look forward to blessing you with my inane thoughts.
Thank you and have a pleasant existence.
Seriously, beat it.
Anyway, I just wanted to take this moment and let everyone know that this is officially the blog of me and the things that I think are important, which you may or may not agree with, but just be warned, I don't take kindly to criticism and I will destroy your ass with my Han Solo phaser gun and do you just like he did Greedo in that nasty ass dive bar. Only I don't have a phaser gun, don't need one, I just have fists and feet that move at the speed of light and I'll front kick your ass with no delay.
Within the contents of this snoop bloggy blog, I aim to educate, enlighten, prophetize, baptize, and deliver all things to you that need to be known, which could at random include things like: film, music, coffee shops, weirdos, drunks, lunatics, writers, stereotypes, artists, cities, dwellings, neighborhoods, architecture, skateboarding, director's cuts, quail eggs, Munchausen syndrome, booze, the fairer sex, etc.
You get the picture. It will be fun. Some will be better than others, but bear with me and feel free to roundhouse kick me if you catch me in San Francisco here, San Diego here, Los Angeles here, Sacramento here, Salem (nothing cool in Salem, sorry), or Seattle here if I insult thee, because I will insult, and that's only because everyone's insulted by something always, including myself. Shit, just the other day the lady at Starbucks asked me if I wanted room for cream when I ordered a tall coffee. I said, "ohhhhh, uh-huh, 'room for cream', I see. Do I look like the type of guy that needs room for cream? So basically you're calling me a pansy, right? Is that it? Well f*ck you!" Then I just side kicked the front door open and stormed out. Can you believe that lady? I know, right!
See, the funny thing about this is, the guy or gal reading this who really DOES ask for room for cream just got insulted by my little farce. you see how this works? it's a fucking vicious cycle, man. Room for cream....jerks.
So that's the deal. Mad information and mad stream of consciousness prose. And if you don't like it then, well, that's just bogus. But if you do like it, and I truly hope you do, you need to shout it from atop a snowy mountain, so all the villagers hillside and beyond can get the good word. And if you've got some interesting thoughts, like about how handsome I am, or how the words flow from my keyboard like a fresh mountain stream, or how just generally awesome I am, I want to hear it. And I will reference you for sure if it's called for, so if you don't want your real name on blast, I'd suggest you choose an ample pseudonym.
In essence, I love you all equally and look forward to blessing you with my inane thoughts.
Thank you and have a pleasant existence.
Seriously, beat it.
2 comments:
I dig it.
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lolikneri havaqatsu
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