Look at her. Isn't she beautiful? At this point, it’s long been established amongst my friends and unfortunate souls that have crossed my path over the years that I am in love with Leslie Feist. I mean who wouldn’t be? Man, woman, canine, porpoise, E.T, anything that has the ability to see or hear, and I would say smell but I have yet to fill that sensation….plus it’s a little creepy, should fall in love with her. There’s no reason not to. Her voice is angelic, the music she writes has melodies that can rock even the most hardened soul to dreamland, and her songs are about heartbreak, hope, strength, moving on, and of course, love. In my haste, I have formed a pretty good idea of the woman she is based on these few clues dissolved evenly in her music and feel like we’d make a pretty snazzy couple. However, I have not had the pleasure of meeting this fine young lady, and noticed she’s coming to San Diego, where I call home, in a few weeks. Perfect! I’ll just book an interview with her record label, woo her with my indelible wit and undeniable charm, and the rest will be history.
Apparently, Lady Feist is a little more popular than I had previously thought and needless to say, the interview simply wasn’t going to happen. Sorry folks, no love story unfolding before your eyes today. I know you’re disappointed; you were really pulling for me. It was too perfect: lonely writer cutely stumbles over his words in interview with huge pop star who giggles as he nervously fumbles over his microcassette recorder trying to pull it together and just makes out with him to ease the tension. Alright, enough already!
The point is: no interview, no problem! I’ve got an imagination, and today I’ve booked an imaginary telephone interview with Leslie Feist (it’s one sided to avoid any law suits, so use your imagination…OH, the irony!)
Apparently, Lady Feist is a little more popular than I had previously thought and needless to say, the interview simply wasn’t going to happen. Sorry folks, no love story unfolding before your eyes today. I know you’re disappointed; you were really pulling for me. It was too perfect: lonely writer cutely stumbles over his words in interview with huge pop star who giggles as he nervously fumbles over his microcassette recorder trying to pull it together and just makes out with him to ease the tension. Alright, enough already!
The point is: no interview, no problem! I’ve got an imagination, and today I’ve booked an imaginary telephone interview with Leslie Feist (it’s one sided to avoid any law suits, so use your imagination…OH, the irony!)
Ring. Ring.
“Yeah, hello Leslie? Or is it Feist? Shoot….it’s Feist isn’t it? I knew it! GOD, I’m such an IDIOT!”
Answer.
“No, I know, I’m just a little nervous, sorry. So anyway, you’ve got this amazing new record “The Reminder” and have been touring the U.S and Canada, I’m sure you’ve been through some pretty weird little towns and met some cool folks, huh?”
Answer.
“Yeah, San Francisco’s great, awesome Thai restaurants there.”
Answer.
“Really? You love Thai too, no way! That’s crazy, I know a really great little Thai restaurant here in San Diego, and it’s supposed to be the best in southern California.”
Answer.
“Yeah, San Francisco’s great, awesome Thai restaurants there.”
Answer.
“Really? You love Thai too, no way! That’s crazy, I know a really great little Thai restaurant here in San Diego, and it’s supposed to be the best in southern California.”
Answer.
“Really? Wow…ok, well, how about uhhhh…7ish? Great!”
Answer.
“What’s that? You kiss on the first date? Stop it! That’s so weird, cause so do I! It’s amazing--we have so much in common. Well, see ya at 7!”
And that’s about it. There was some stuff in there about her affinity for malnourished looking dudes who love Japanese cinema and cheap sunglasses, but I thought I’d spare you all that, but I will say that I was flattered.
Alright, so it was a selfish interview! When you book your own imaginary interview, I’ll have no problem with you taking a few liberties at the sake of advancing your imaginary love life. I may stop reading after a quick glance, but hey, you do what you gotta do.
So I hope this interview was informative, action packed, full of mystery and suspense, and all things provocative and gave you a little insight as to who Leslie Feist is when the mic chords are unplugged, the amps are being rolled into the vans, and the lights are dimmed. She’s pretty cool, no? I liked her. And just an update, we’re still together and very happy so….
And if by some strange reason you are reading this Leslie, please don’t sue me or my representatives, and…..CALL ME!
And that’s about it. There was some stuff in there about her affinity for malnourished looking dudes who love Japanese cinema and cheap sunglasses, but I thought I’d spare you all that, but I will say that I was flattered.
Alright, so it was a selfish interview! When you book your own imaginary interview, I’ll have no problem with you taking a few liberties at the sake of advancing your imaginary love life. I may stop reading after a quick glance, but hey, you do what you gotta do.
So I hope this interview was informative, action packed, full of mystery and suspense, and all things provocative and gave you a little insight as to who Leslie Feist is when the mic chords are unplugged, the amps are being rolled into the vans, and the lights are dimmed. She’s pretty cool, no? I liked her. And just an update, we’re still together and very happy so….
And if by some strange reason you are reading this Leslie, please don’t sue me or my representatives, and…..CALL ME!
1 comments:
dude. your word is the final word!
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